The Monthly Check-In I Swear By 🗒️💭
There’s something powerful about pausing before the next month begins.
Not to criticize yourself.
Not to overhaul your entire life.
Just to notice.
This monthly check-in is the exact process I come back to when life feels messy, when goals feel unclear, or when I need to reconnect with myself instead of running on autopilot.
In this episode, I’m sharing my full Reflect + Prep framework — the practice that helps me turn vision into real-life rhythms without pressure or perfectionism.
If you’ve ever felt like your months are flying by without intention… this one’s for you.
LET’S DIVE IN 🖤
The reality is — the start of the year can feel like a lot.
We all come into January with ideas about what’s going to make us happier, healthier, more aligned… and then real life shows up. Work. Kids. Relationships. Health. Stress. Travel. Curveballs.
And that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
That’s not failure — that’s life.
So the question becomes:
👉 How do we live in the reality of life and still move the needle forward?
👉 How do we pick ourselves back up when we fall off — because we will?
This is the process that helps me do exactly that.
It’s how I stay intentional without being rigid.
It’s how I don’t abandon goals halfway through the year.
It’s how I take a vision board and actually make it tangible in my real life.
I call it Reflect + Prep — and today I’m going to walk you through it in real time.
WHY REFLECT + PREP WORKS
If you’ve ever worked with me you know REFLECTION is the thing we will always do first. And it’s for a very good reason.
Most people jump straight into planning. New goals. New routines. New habits.
But if you skip reflection, you end up:
repeating the same patterns
setting goals that don’t match your actual capacity
or feeling like you’re constantly “starting over”
When I talk about reflection, this process isn’t about judging yourself.
It’s about collecting data from the last 30 days or so.
And when I talk about prepping for a fresh month, it isn’t about control.
It’s about focus, support, and intention.
Together, they create momentum that actually lasts and I’m excited to walk you thru the exact process I use in my life, in my coaching containers, and in my journal.
PART ONE: REFLECT
When I reflect, I’m not asking, “How did I mess this up?” or “Why can’t I ever get this right?” No. Reflection is simply data so that future me can make better aligned decisions based on past me’s patterns. It’s never about not falling off or getting everything just perfect. It’s about bouncing back quicker. About asking “What did I learn?” and “How can I utilize that information to my advantage?”
Reflection helps me make sense of my life as it actually is — not as I thought it would be or wish it were — and there’s 6 parts to my reflection process.
Step One: Rate the Key Areas of Your Life
I start by quickly rating the 8 areas of a well-rounded self from the past month:
Physical
Professional
Financial
Mental / Emotional
Environmental
Relational
Recreational
Spiritual
I quickly give each area a number on a scale from 1 - 10. 1 meaning this area needs attention or focus and 10 meaning I can maintain this bc it’s working really well. This is not about giving yourself a grade as much as it is about noticing patterns.
Sometimes I’ll see that one area is pulling energy from everything else. For example, when my mental or emotional world feels heavy, it shows up everywhere — in my body, my work, and my relationships.
That awareness alone is powerful.
I also know that not every area needs to be a level 10 all the time. Some seasons call for heavier work focuses. Some seasons call for a shift in the attention I’m giving my health or my relationships. The key here is to look at what areas need attention and what areas you can simply maintain bc they are going well.
Step Two: What Went Well?
This step matters more than most of us realize.
We’re so quick to jump into fixing that we skip celebration. But celebration is so important ladies and we don’t do it for ourselves nearly enough. Ask yourself things like:
What worked last month?
What felt good?
What are you proud of — even if it feels small?
If it’s hard to name what went well, that usually tells me I’ve been moving too fast to notice. And that’s information too. I also don’t stop on the surface here. I’ll jog my memory by looking at my camera roll, my calendar, and even my social media archives/posts for clues as to how I spent my time and where my focus went.
Step Three: What Didn’t Go So Well?
Here’s where I shift the language.
Not: “What did I do wrong?”
But: “What needs adjusting?”
Life seasons change. Physical seasons change. Capacity changes. Energy changes. You are not meant to operate the same way every month.
I’ve learned that when something isn’t working, it’s usually asking for compassion before correction. And compassion doesn’t mean avoiding honesty. It means telling the truth without turning on yourself.
Sometimes the honest answer isn’t that you’re unmotivated or undisciplined — it’s that your plate is too full. Or you said yes to too many things. Or your boundaries were loose because you were trying to keep everything and everyone afloat.
When something keeps falling apart, I’ve found it’s often an invitation to look underneath the habit itself and ask:
What am I carrying right now?
What season am I actually in?
What expectations need adjusting?
This kind of honest inventory matters. Because you can’t “fix” a rhythm that’s being crushed by an unrealistic load. And you can’t shame yourself into sustainability.
Compassion lets you pause.
Honesty helps you realign.
And together, they create change that actually lasts.
Step Four: How Do You Want to Feel by the End of the Month?
Before I decide what this month needs, I pause and zoom out — just enough.
I ask myself: When this month comes to a close… how do I want to feel?
Not what do I want to get done.
Not what boxes do I want to check.
How do I want to feel in my body?
In my relationships?
In my work?
In my inner world?
This is where I intentionally loop back to the ratings from the first step. Those ratings offer really helpful information. They show me where energy has been flowing — and where it’s been leaking.
When I pair my ratings with how I want to feel by the end of the month, a clear focus starts to emerge. I’m no longer trying to improve everything at once. I’m choosing what actually needs support right now.
And when I know how I want to feel, I can make choices that support that feeling — even when life is full, messy, or unpredictable. This allows my months to feel intentional vs reactive.
Step Five: What Habits or Routines Would Support That Feeling?
This is where we keep things realistic — and where real change actually begins.
Instead of asking:
“What should I do?”
I ask:
“What would support me?” and “What would support my vision for this year?”
That question shifts everything.
Because “shoulds” are usually loud, external, and rooted in pressure.
Support is personal. It’s responsive. It meets you where you actually are and helps you bridge the gap towards where you desire to go.
I’m not looking for a complete life overhaul here. I’m looking for a few small, repeatable actions that make the month feel more grounded and doable.
Things like:
eating in a way that supports my energy instead of drains it
moving my body in a way that feels aligned, not punishing
creating a rhythm that works with my schedule, not against it
protecting my energy, my yes, and my nervous system a little more intentionally
These habits don’t have to be impressive. They just have to be honest.
Small.
Repeatable.
Real.
I’ve learned that habits aren’t about discipline or willpower. They’re about alignment.
When a habit fits your season, it feels doable.
When it doesn’t fit, it becomes something you constantly “fall off” — not because you’re failing, but because it was never sustainable to begin with.
This step is about choosing habits that help you keep showing up — even on imperfect days. Especially on imperfect days.
Step Six: Choose One Sentence tHAT SUPPORTS YOU
I always end reflection by choosing one sentence.
It might be an affirmation, a mental tattoo, a truth I need to remember, or a piece of scripture — but it’s always something I can come back to when the month gets hard. Because it will.
Typically what helps me choose this sentence is looking back at the month I just lived and asking:
What did I need to hear last month, but didn’t give myself?
Sometimes the answer is obvious.
Maybe I was overwhelmed and needed reassurance.
Maybe I was overcommitted and needed permission to slow down.
Maybe I was doubting myself and needed truth instead of criticism.
Very often, this sentence is rooted in my struggle — not because I want to stay there, but because I want to rewrite the mental loops that were running on repeat.
I know it’s helpful to have tangible examples, so here are a few examples of what these sentences might sound like, depending on what last month held for you:
If last month was full of self-judgment, your sentence might sound like:
“I am allowed to learn + grow without punishing myself.”
“Progress doesn’t require self-criticism.”
“I’m doing the best I can with what I have right now.”
If last month felt chaotic or overwhelming, your sentence might sound like:
“I don’t have to do everything at once.”
“One step at a time is enough.”
“Slow progress is still forward progress.”
If last month felt heavy or discouraging, your sentence might sound like:
“This season will not last forever.”
“Something good can still grow here.”
“I am not stuck — I am in process.”
If last month was marked by burnout or exhaustion, your sentence might sound like:
“Rest is productive for me right now.”
“I don’t need to earn my rest.”
“I am allowed to care for myself without guilt.”
If last month brought boundary tension or overcommitment, your sentence might sound like:
“I am allowed to say no without explaining.”
“Protecting my energy protects what matters most.”
“Not everything is mine to carry.”
If last month stirred up fear, doubt, or uncertainty, your sentence might sound like:
“I can take the next step without seeing the whole path.”
“I trust myself to figure this out as I go.”
“I don’t need certainty to move forward.”
You don’t need the perfect sentence.
You just need one true sentence that your brain can believe.
This sentence becomes a place your mind can land — especially when old thoughts try to take over.
This is how I gently create new mental pathways and help coach myself thru the tough spots.
Instead of letting old thoughts run unchecked, I give my mind something new to return to — something supportive, true, and aligned with the season I’m in.
PART TWO: PREP
(Using what you learned to support the month ahead)
Prep doesn’t need to be complicated. In fact, the simpler it is, the more likely you are to actually do it.
Reflection helps me understand where I am.
Prep helps me decide how I’m going to support myself moving forward.
This is where I take everything I just uncovered in reflection — my ratings, my patterns, how I want to feel — and turn that information into real-life support for the month ahead.
Prep is not about fixing myself.
It’s about setting future me up with a little more ease.
How Prep Works (Big Picture)
When I look at my reflection, two things usually stand out:
One or two areas that clearly need attention
A few areas that are actually working and just need maintenance
Prep is simply asking: “How can I support the areas that need attention — without disrupting the ones that are already working?”
That’s it.
Step One: I Prep My Calendar to Support My Focus
I start with my calendar, but not in a rigid, productivity-driven way.
Yes, I’m looking at what’s on it — and I’m also noticing how it feels to look at it.
Does it feel packed and overwhelming?
Does it feel spacious?
Does it reflect the focus that came out of my reflection?
This is where I use my ratings and my desired end-of-month feeling as a filter and ask:
What’s already set that I need to honor?
Where do I need to build in margin so I don’t sabotage myself halfway through the month?
What might need to be adjusted so my calendar supports how I said I want to feel?
Sometimes prep isn’t about adding anything new.
Sometimes prep is about removing pressure before it shows up.
If my calendar doesn’t support my focus, it’s going to be very hard for anything else to stick.
Step Two: I Prep My Life Through the Areas That Need Support
Next, I look back at my ratings and ask a very practical question:
“Based on what needs attention, what would support me this month?”
This is where the eight areas of a well-rounded self become incredibly helpful — not as a to-do list, but as a guide.
For example:
If physical support is needed, monthly prep might look like:
deciding what kind of movement season I’m in
loosely mapping workouts or movement rhythms
planning meals or grocery routines that support energy instead of drain it
If professional support is needed, prep might look like:
reviewing deadlines, meetings, or travel
choosing one professional focus instead of trying to do everything
resetting my workspace so it supports clarity and follow-through
If financial support is needed, prep might look like:
reviewing upcoming expenses
setting a loose spending intention
planning for known costs so they don’t turn into stress surprises
If mental or emotional support is needed, prep might look like:
identifying what feels heavy and naming the kind of support I need
deciding what boundaries would protect my energy
choosing when and how I’ll create mental rest this month
If environmental support is needed, prep might look like:
resetting shared spaces at home or work
decluttering areas that create daily friction
adjusting my environment to match the pace of the month ahead
If relational support is needed, prep might look like:
looking ahead at family or shared schedules
planning intentional connection instead of hoping it happens
identifying where boundaries or conversations are needed
If recreational support is needed, prep might look like:
choosing one thing I’m looking forward to
planning rest or play before the calendar fills up
giving myself permission to enjoy something just because it feels good
If spiritual support is needed, prep might look like:
choosing a verse, intention, or grounding practice for the month
identifying how I want to stay connected or rooted
setting aside simple time for reflection, prayer, or quiet
What Prep Is — and What It Isn’t
Monthly prep isn’t about touching every area perfectly.
It’s about:
supporting what needs attention
maintaining what’s already working
and reducing friction in your day-to-day life
Prep should create ease.
And ease is what creates consistency.
When my calendar and my life are aligned with my focus, I don’t have to rely on motivation. I’m supported by the way I’ve set things up.
That’s what makes this sustainable.
So that’s Reflect + Prep.
Reflection is where you slow down long enough to understand yourself — your patterns, your capacity, what’s actually working, and what needs care.
Prep is where you take that information and turn it into support for the month ahead — not by controlling your life, but by creating a little more ease in how you move through it.
You’re not aiming for perfect months.
You’re building a rhythm that helps you bounce back quicker when life happens — because it will.
This process is how I stop starting over.
It’s how I stay intentional without being rigid.
And it’s how I keep showing up — even in full, messy, real seasons.
You can do this entire Reflect + Prep process in a blank notebook, a notes app, or a journal you already own. There is nothing magical about buying something new.
That said — if you want this fully guided and laid out for you, this exact framework lives inside my Win the Morning Journal. It walks you through monthly reflection, focus, and prep step by step, and I’ll link it below if that kind of structure would support you.
But hear me clearly:
The journal isn’t the magic.
Consistency is.
So whatever you use, I encourage you to do one important thing — set a recurring reminder in your calendar for the last week of every month to pause and check in with yourself.
That’s how this becomes a rhythm instead of a one-time reset.
If this episode resonated, save it and come back to it next month.
And if you know someone who feels like they keep falling off, send this their way.
Alright friends. Have the best week ever and I’ll see you right here, next week, on The Self Care Sisterhood Podcast. 🤍
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