RECLAIM YOUR LIGHT: ⚡️Why Your Spark Went Dim (+ How to Get It Back)

Jul 13

Last week, wonder reminded us we're beautifully small in the grand scheme of things. This week, I need you to hear the other half: you still matter, more than you know. Bc wonder shrinks the ego — but it should never shrink your VALUE, and friend, we confuse those two all the time. This week we're reclaiming light: both the spark inside you that's gone a little dim lately, and the lightness you move through your whole life with. Bc here's the truth — when everything becomes heavy + gripping + push-through-it-all, that's exactly when your inner spark fades. Let's talk about where your worth really comes from, why the light dims in the first place, and the surprisingly simple way it comes back on. Grab the RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER Workbook + Companion Guide + do this work right alongside me all season. You are NOT too late to join.

In this post we'll chat thru…

✻ Ego vs. value — and why "small in ego, infinite in worth" is the whole heart of this one
✻ The two kinds of light: the spark within + the lightness you carry
✻ Where your worth actually comes from — inherent, God-given, + uniquely yours
✻ Masculine vs. feminine energy (hint: it's about posture, not gender)
✻ Why "doing mode" dims your light — + how play brings it back

LET'S DIVE IN. 🖤

Hey hey friend. Welcome back to The Self Care Sisterhood + welcome back to our RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER series. I'm so glad you're here.

So last week we talked about wonder. About how awe has this way of making us feel beautifully, wonderfully small. About loosening our grip + letting the world — letting God — letting life become bigger than our worries + our plans + our endless to-do lists.

And I meant every word of it.

But here's the thing. After I recorded that episode, I could NOT stop thinking about something. Bc there's a flip side to that conversation that I didn't want us to miss.

Wonder shrinks the ego. But it should never shrink your VALUE.

And those two things — ego + value — whew, we get them confused ALL the time. So let me say it really clearly, bc I think this might be the whole heart of today.

Wonder says: you are not the center of the universe. Light says: but you still matter, deeply. Wonder says: stop making yourself so big. Light says: but don't you dare make yourself so small. Wonder reminds us we are part of something so much larger than ourselves. Light reminds us that we still have a part to play in it.

Bc here's what I realized. Last week's fear — the one I sat in during all that healing, the fear of becoming smaller, of crumbling into dust — that fear was never really "what if the world is bigger than me?" The real fear underneath it was: if the world is bigger than me... do I still matter?

And friend, the answer is YES. A thousand times yes.

The goal was never to disappear. The goal was just to stop believing you have to be the biggest thing in every single story. You can be small in ego + still be infinite in worth. Both things are true. At the very same time.

That's what reclaiming your light is all about.

TWO KINDS OF LIGHT

So when I say light, I actually mean two things — and they're tangled up together.

The first is the light inside you. That spark. That pilot light. The part of you that feels lit up + alive + like... YOU. And if we're honest, a lot of us can feel like that light has gone a little dim lately. Not out. Just dim. Like somebody turned the volume way down on the most vibrant parts of us.

And the second kind of light is the lightness you move through your life WITH. And this is the one I really wanna sit in today too. Bc here's the question — does your life feel heavy? Like something to muscle through, grit your teeth through, manage + control + white-knuckle your way through? Or is there any ease in it? Any softness? Any room to actually breathe?

And here's what I've come to believe. Those two lights are connected. When you're stuck in heavy, gripping, push-through-everything mode all the time — that's exactly when the spark inside you dims. You cannot run on pure force + also feel lit up. It just doesn't work that way.

YOU STILL MATTER

So let's go back to that word. Value.

Bc I think a lot of us have quietly built our worth on the wrong foundation. We've tied it to our importance. Our productivity. Our influence. Our achievement. How visible we are, how much we output, how much we get done in a day. That's ego talking. Ego says: my worth comes from what I produce + how much I matter to everybody else.

But value? Real value? Value says: my worth is just... inherent. It was never up for debate.

And here's where it goes even deeper for me, + you can take or leave this part depending on your own beliefs, but it's the truest thing I know. You matter simply because you exist. Full stop. But not by accident — bc you were MADE. On purpose. With intention. By a God who didn't make a single mistake when He made you. Your worth isn't something you earn + it isn't something you can lose. It was woven in from the very beginning.

And when you actually believe that — when you stop performing for your value + start living FROM it — something shifts. Bc if your worth is already settled, then you don't have to grip so hard. You don't have to prove. You don't have to carry the weight of being the biggest thing in every room. You get to just... be. And shine.

And here's the beautiful part. When you're rooted in that kind of settled worth, you start to remember you've got a part to play that's uniquely YOURS. There's a specific light only you carry. Not to perform. Not to compete. Not to be the brightest one in the room. But bc the world is genuinely a little dimmer when you hide the thing only you were made to bring. Wonder reminded us we're part of something bigger. Light reminds us we have a real part to play IN that something.

WHY THE LIGHT DIMS

So why does that light go dim in the first place? How do we get here?

Here's where I wanna introduce something, + we go deeper on this in the workbook, but I at least wanna open the door today bc I think it's gonna click for a lot of you.

There are two kinds of energy that live inside every single one of us. Masculine energy + feminine energy.

And before anybody clicks away — this has NOTHING to do with gender. Nothing. Every human carries both. This isn't a man thing or a woman thing. It's about posture. It's about the MODE you're operating in.

So let me paint it. Masculine energy is your doing energy. It's linear, focused, structured, disciplined, goal-oriented. It's the get-it-done, check-the-box, make-the-plan, push-forward energy. And it's GOOD. We need it. I love a good to-do list, ha. It builds things. It gets us places.

And then there's feminine energy. This is your being energy. It's fluid, intuitive, creative, playful, receptive. It's the softening, the flowing, the resting, the creating-just-because, the connecting. It's less about doing + more about simply being.

And we need BOTH. There's a time for each. This was never about picking one + abandoning the other.

But — and you guys know where I'm going — we live in a world that absolutely worships the masculine. The grind. The hustle. The productivity. The output. The to-do list as a whole personality. We've been taught that the doing energy is the valuable one + the being energy is kind of... optional. A nice-to-have. Something you get to once everything else is finished.

So most of us are walking around STUCK in doing mode. Stuck in masculine energy. Planning, achieving, managing, controlling, pushing. And then we wonder why we feel so depleted. So disconnected. We wonder why that inner spark went so dim.

And do you see how it all connects? When your worth is tied to output, you live in pure doing mode. And pure doing mode is exactly what dims your light. Ego keeps you grinding. Value lets you rest. The two energies + the two kinds of worth are telling the very same story.

So here's the gentle gut-check I want to leave you with, + we go further with this in the workbook. Just ask yourself honestly: where have I been living lately? Camped out in doing mode — structure, control, push, achieve? And where could I soften back into being? Into flow, into rest, into play, into receiving?

Bc there's a swing to all of this. It's not "masculine bad, feminine good." It's noticing when you've been leaning too hard in one direction for too long — + letting yourself swing back toward balance. That blend, that wholeness — THAT'S where the light comes back on.

THE WAY BACK IS PLAY

So how do we swing back? How do we get out of the grip + into the ease?

I'll give you the doorway, + it might sound almost too simple, but stay with me. The way back into your being energy — into your lightness, into your spark — is PLAY.

And I know. As grown women, "play" can sound silly. Frivolous. Like something we just don't have time for. We've got real responsibilities — who has time to play?

But play is not childish + it's not wasteful. Play is restorative. It's actually essential — for your nervous system, for your relationships, for your creativity, for your whole entire wellbeing. Play is how we remember we're alive + not just productive.

And here's the kicker. Lightness is not accidental. It doesn't just show up + rescue you on a random Tuesday. Lightness is CHOSEN. You have to choose it on purpose. You have to stop waiting for a break to magically appear + actually create one for yourself.

Now in the workbook, we break down the different types of play — bc play looks different for different people, + there's probably a kind you've been totally neglecting without even realizing it. We get really specific in there about how to find YOUR kind + choose it on purpose. So I'm not gonna walk through all of that here — but I want you to at least start asking the question this week.

What lights me up? What did I used to do just for the joy of it, before joy had to be productive? When's the last time I did something for no reason other than it just felt GOOD?

So here's your invitation this week. And notice I said invitation, not assignment — bc the whole point is that we're softening, ha. I'm not about to hand you one more heavy thing to grip.

Just pick ONE small way to choose lightness this week. One. That's it.

Maybe it's taking yourself on a slow walk with no goal + no step count, just bc it feels good. Maybe it's putting on a song you love + dancing in your kitchen while you make dinner. Maybe it's reading something just for fun — not to improve yourself, not to learn anything, just for the pure enjoyment of it. Maybe it's saying no to something heavy so you have room to say yes to something light. Maybe it's romanticizing your morning coffee like it's the most beautiful ritual in the world.

And it's SUMMER, friend. The season is practically handing you permission. The long evenings, the warm water, the slowness that summer wants to give us if we'd just let it. Let yourself receive some of it.

Bc the spark didn't go out. It just got buried under a whole lot of doing. And the way you uncover it again isn't by pushing harder. It's by softening. By remembering you were always worthy. By letting it be light.

You are allowed to let your life feel lighter. You're allowed to step out of the grip + the grind + the control, even just a little, even just for a moment. You don't have to earn your rest, or your joy, or your play. They were never the prize at the end. They're part of being whole.

The doing energy built a lot of beautiful things in your life. And I'm proud of you for that. But you are not a machine + you were never meant to live in pure output. Your softness, your play, your ease — that's not the optional part of you. That might just be the part that's been waiting the longest to be let back in.

Last week, wonder reminded you that you're beautifully small in the grand scheme of things. This week, I need you to hear the other half: you still matter, more than you know. Small in ego. Infinite in worth. Both, at the very same time.

So this week — choose light. On purpose. Just once. And see what comes back on.

Ya’ll. I'm so glad we get to do this together. Next Monday we keep going — we're gonna reclaim your CALM. Bc once you remember the world is bigger than you AND that you still matter in it... the next gift is realizing you don't have to carry it all. We're gonna talk about your nervous system, the stress cycle, + what it actually means to feel safe + steady + grounded in your own body. It might be the one we all need most. So don't miss it.

Okay friend. I love you so much. I’m rooting for you always. And I’ll see you right here, next week, on The Self Care Sisterhood Podcast. 🤍

PS…This website includes affiliate links. If you click and purchase, I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products + tools that I have personally reviewed, love, and/or use. You can read the full statement HERE.