RECLAIM YOUR ENERGY ⚡️Energy Givers, Energy Leaks + What You Can Actually Control
If you've been feeling exhausted without being able to fully explain why — not just physically tired, but soul tired, mentally cluttered, emotionally drained — friend, this one's for you. This week in our RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER series we're talking about energy. Not in a productivity-hack, optimize-your-morning kind of way. In a what is actually happening to you every single day + what do you have the power to influence kind of way. Because here's the thing — your energy isn't random. It's being shaped all the time by what you consume, what you tolerate, who you're around, + the stories running quietly in the background of your mind. Grab the RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER Workbook + Companion Guide + do this work right alongside me all season. You are NOT too late to join. 🌿⚡️
In this post we'll chat thru…
✻ Why your energy isn't random — and the four things quietly shaping it every day
✻ Energy givers vs. energy takers — the obvious ones + the sneaky normalized ones you've stopped questioning
✻ The 4 A's framework — Brittany's cycle for sustainable growth (Awareness, Action, Adjustments, Accountability)
✻ The 7 areas you can actually influence — from your wellness choices to the stories you tell yourself
✻ How to set boundaries from alignment instead of guilt — and why we have to stop abandoning ourselves daily
LET'S DIVE IN. 🖤
Sometimes I think one of the hardest things about adulthood — especially for women — is how easy it becomes to slowly leak energy everywhere without even realizing it’s happening.
Not all at once.
Just little by little.
A little here…
A little there…
A constant drip of attention, responsibility, decision making, emotional labor, notifications, pressure, noise, expectations, conversations, errands, tabs open in your brain at all times 😂
And eventually you wake up one day feeling exhausted…
but you can’t fully explain why.
Not necessarily physically exhausted.
More like:
soul tired.
mentally cluttered.
emotionally stretched thin.
disconnected from yourself a little.
Like your energy belongs to everyone and everything else before it ever belongs to YOU.
And I think that’s why so many women keep saying things like:
“I just need a vacation.”
“I need a reset.”
“I don’t feel like myself lately.”
“I need to get my life together.”
But the more I’ve reflected on this in my own life, the more I don’t actually think most of us are craving another productivity hack or some perfect routine.
I think we’re craving reconnection.
Reconnection to ourselves.
To what matters.
To how we want to feel.
To the kind of life we actually want to be present for.
Because when your energy is constantly being drained by things that don’t align, even the good parts of your life can start feeling heavier than they should.
And that’s really what today’s conversation is about.
It’s about paying attention.
Looking honestly at where your energy has been going lately…
what’s been restoring you…
what’s been quietly draining you…
and what you actually have the power to influence in this season of life.
Because I think a lot of women are carrying exhaustion they can’t fully explain.
They’re functioning.
Showing up.
Getting things done.
Taking care of everyone else.
But underneath all of that?
They feel disconnected from themselves.
And if you missed last week’s opening episode of the RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER series, I also created a full guided workbook to walk through this work with me all summer long.
It’s not just journal prompts or fluff.
It’s a practical companion for helping you reflect, reset, and reconnect to what actually matters in this season — your wellness, your energy, your routines, your mindset, your focus, your calm…all of it.
And today’s episode pairs really beautifully with the workbook because we’re going to start looking at the things that are either fueling your energy…or quietly stealing it. 🤍
Because last week in our RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER series, we talked a lot about awareness.
Where has your best energy been going?
What’s been getting your attention?
What feels aligned?
What feels off?
And once you notice those things, the next question becomes:
“Okay… now what?”
Because awareness is powerful.
But eventually there has to be movement attached to the awareness or we stay stuck in the same loops, having the same realizations over and over again without anything actually changing.
And friends, I think this is where we have to stop waiting for motivation to magically arrive and start looking honestly at what’s actually within our control.
Because there are more things within your influence than you probably realize.
And THAT is where reclaiming your energy begins. 🤍
ENERGY GIVERS + ENERGY TAKERS
The more I started paying attention to my own energy, the more I realized that my energy wasn’t random.
It was being shaped every single day by:
what I was consuming,
what I was tolerating,
what I was saying yes to,
how I was caring for myself,
who I was surrounding myself with,
the pace I was living at,
and the stories I was constantly repeating in my own head.
Friends. Energy isn’t just physical.
It’s emotional.
Mental.
Relational.
Spiritual too.
When we feel drained, we often try to “push through” instead of pausing to check what’s actually depleting us. This week, we’re reclaiming our energy by getting honest about where it’s leaking… and what we can do to get it flowing again.
Your energy is being shaped by so many things every single day:
The thoughts you focus on
The content you consume
The people you spend time with
The boundaries you set (or don’t)
The commitments you say yes to
The way you spend your time
The self-care you prioritize
The words you speak (to yourself and others)
The stories you keep telling
The moods you carry
The values you honor
The work you do (and how it aligns with your purpose)
Simply put- your energy isn’t random—it’s a reflection of your surroundings + choices.
And all day, every day there are energy givers and energy takers everywhere.
Some are obvious. Some are so normalized we barely even question them anymore.
Things like:
Overcommitting out of guilt.
People-pleasing.
Saying yes when your body is screaming no.
Scrolling endlessly on your phone and somehow feeling worse afterward instead of better.
Negative self-talk running quietly in the background all day long.
Being around people who constantly criticize, complain, gossip, or drain the room every time you leave them.
Skipping meals and then wondering why your energy crashes by 2pm.
Staying up way too late even though you already know tomorrow is going to feel harder because of it.
Working without boundaries.
Never fully unplugging mentally.
Living disconnected from your values for too long.
That drains us.
But honestly, I think one of the sneakiest energy leaks is living a life that no longer aligns with what matters most to you.
Saying your health matters while never making time for it.
Saying rest matters while glorifying burnout.
Saying connection matters while spending most of your free time numb-scrolling instead of being present.
That disconnect is exhausting, friends.
But on the flip side, there are things quietly restoring us all the time too. And I want to make sure we acknowledge and seek out these energy givers. You already know how simple they’re gonna be.
Movement.
Water.
Sleep.
Fresh air.
Music.
Prayer.
Laughter.
A clean kitchen or tidy home.
Meaningful conversation.
Time outside.
Planning ahead a little so life feels less chaotic.
Being around people who make you feel safe, calm, and fully yourself.
Simple things. But powerful things. Things that give something back to you instead of constantly pulling from you.
Friends. I know that YOU KNOW exactly what drains you. But how much time have you spent identifying & practicing what actually restores you? Bc life will life and people will people and stress will stress. Ya know what I mean?
Your energy is one of your most valuable resources and I really hope this week in our RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER series helps you see and honor that.
Whether you realize it or not, your energy is constantly being spent, shared, or stolen.
By distractions.
By obligations.
By pressure.
By noise.
By expectations.
By environments that keep pulling you further away from yourself.
And this work isn’t about adding MORE to your plate.
It’s about becoming more intentional with what matters.
What fuels you.
What drains you.
What restores you.
What leaves you feeling disconnected from yourself.
Because once you realize your energy isn’t random, you also realize something really empowering:
There are areas of your life you CAN influence with intention. And I think once we see where energy is leaking — and where we can intentionally give some back to ourselves — focusing on what we CAN influence changes everything. The ability to respond intentionally instead of continuing to move through life completely on autopilot.
7 AREAS IN YOUR CONTROL
In The Sisterhood, I used to teach this cycle all the time: awareness — action — adjustments.
You notice what’s happening.
You respond intentionally.
You learn what works.
You adjust where needed.
And then you keep going.
That’s sustainable growth.
So let’s look at 7 areas that shape our energy every single day whether we realize it or not.
✨ WELLNESS CHOICES
The way we physically support ourselves matters.
Sleep.
Movement.
Water.
Rest.
Food that actually fuels us.
You know I’m never going to preach perfection here, but when your body is constantly under-supported, life feels harder and your energy is lower.
Your wellness habits either help carry you or they slowly become another drain.
✨ WHAT YOU CONSUME
And I don’t just mean food or what you consume with your mouth. I’m talking what you consume with your eyes and ears, too.
social media
news
podcasts
conversations or gossip
music you’re listening to
what shows you’re watching
constant input
A lot of us are overstimulated all the time and barely even notice it anymore.
Too much scrolling.
Too much comparison.
Too much access to everyone else’s thoughts, lives, and opinions before we’ve even checked in with ourselves first.
Your mind needs healthy inputs too.
✨ HOW YOU SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF
This one matters deeply.
Because sometimes we abandon ourselves in tiny ways all day long.
Ignoring what we need.
Running on empty.
Speaking harshly to ourselves.
Breaking promises to ourselves over and over.
The way you care for yourself shapes the way you experience your life.
✨ HOW YOU SHOW UP FOR OTHERS
The way we show up for other people affects our energy too. And I don’t just mean WHO we’re around. I mean the posture behind how we give.
There’s a difference between showing up from love and showing up from guilt. From showing up out of alignment vs an obligation to.
Sometimes caring for people fills us up.
Sending flowers to a friend after they lose a parent.
Dropping off dinner for someone who just gave birth.
Sitting on the couch talking with your spouse or kid after a rough day.
That kind of connection can feel deeply life-giving because it aligns with who we are and what matters to us.
But then there are other moments where we say yes while quietly feeling resentment building underneath it.
Answering every text immediately because we feel guilty if we don’t.
Being the default person everyone leans on while never really checking our own capacity first.
Taking on one more thing when we’re already overwhelmed.
That drains us.
And I think many women were taught that being a “good” woman means endlessly giving no matter the cost to themselves. But healthy support and self-abandonment are not the same thing.
The goal isn’t to stop caring for people.
It’s learning how to show up in ways that feel aligned, sustainable, and honest instead of fueled by guilt, pressure, or performance.
And that’s where boundaries matter.
Not to shut people out but to help protect your energy so you can continue showing up for what matters most without losing yourself in the process.
✨ WHAT YOU ALLOW / TOLERATE
Eventually we have to get honest about what we’ve normalized.
Chaos.
Clutter.
Constant stress.
Disrespect.
Burnout.
Overcommitment.
Never unplugging.
A constantly full calendar or schedule.
These are things we’ve allowed to slowly leak our energy over time until they’ve become normalized. But they are also things within our control.
What we tolerate repeatedly shapes our everyday experience and if you’ve allowed some of these things to become normal in your life or ecosystem than it’s up to you to work to reverse that.
✨ WHAT FILLS YOUR TIME
Your time tells the truth pretty quickly.
What gets your best energy lately?
What gets the leftovers?
And I also want to acknowledge that some seasons are genuinely demanding. Work seasons. Caregiving seasons. Survival seasons. That’s real.
This isn’t about creating a perfect life.
It’s about noticing where you DO have choice and becoming more intentional there.
✨ THE STORIES YOU TELL YOURSELF
This one is huge.
Because your internal dialogue affects your energy every single day.
“I’m behind.”
“I always fail.”
“I should be doing more.”
“I’ll never be consistent.”
That kind of narrative drains us quietly over time.
So many of us speak to ourselves in ways we would never speak to someone we love. Myself very much included, friends.
Part of reclaiming our energy this summer is reclaiming the voice you live with every day.
Alright friends, week two in our summer series — RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER — and I hope today gave you a lot to chew on when it comes to your energy this season.
Reclaiming your energy isn’t about a full on life overhaul.
It’s about paying attention.
Protecting what matters.
Noticing where your energy is leaking.
And slowly rebuilding support around the life you actually want to live.
One choice at a time.
One adjustment at a time.
One moment of awareness at a time.
And I think when women begin reconnecting with themselves in that way, everything starts shifting.
Be sure to come back next week in our RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER series, bc we’re talking all about RECLAIMING YOUR WELLNESS 👟
We’re diving into the wellness habits that actually support your life and help you feel your best without turning wellness into another exhausting thing to manage. I’m really excited for that conversation because I think wellness culture has made so many women feel like they’re either “all in” or failing and we’re gonna talk about a much healthier, more sustainable middle ground.
And if you’ve been loving this summer series so far, I would be SO grateful if you took a second to leave a 5-star review over on Apple Podcasts. Truly, it helps more women find these conversations and it means the world to me every single time you share, review, or send an episode to a friend 🤍 We’re inching closer and closer to 10,000 listens which honestly blows my mind a little, but I also think it’s a beautiful reminder that when you’re listening to these episodes, you are very much NOT alone.
There is a whole community of women walking through this work together.
Women who care deeply about taking care of themselves so they can love and serve from overflow instead of burnout.
Women learning how to create lives they actually want to be present for.
Women choosing intention over autopilot one small step at a time.
And if you want to go deeper alongside all of us this summer, it’s absolutely not too late to grab the RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER workbook and companion guide linked in the show notes.
We’re walking through this together all summer long and I’d be honored to do this work with you.
I love you guys so much. And I’ll see you right here, next week, on The Self Care Sisterhood Podcast. 🤍
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