RYS BONUS: 💭 What’s Your Enough?
Friends, if we do not decide what enough means, the world will always encourage us to add more. More hours. More revenue. More reach. More growth. But what if more is available without automatically being meant for us? In this bonus conversation, we're exploring the difference between ambition and endless expansion, the ways we keep enough just beyond our reach, and why open space does not always need another assignment. Brittany shares the family philosophy behind keeping Crave closed on Sundays, what her Beachbody years taught her about a finish line that never stopped moving, and the question she is learning to ask before filling her life back up: What is my enough?
In this post we'll chat through defining enough before the world defines it for us; why a good chapter can be complete; how we confuse space with capacity; what optimization culture quietly teaches us about worth; and how to enjoy the life we've already built without immediately asking it to become more.
LET'S DIVE IN. 🖤
Hey hey friend. Welcome back to The Self Care Sisterhood and to a special BONUS episode of our RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER series. I’m so glad you’re here.
This episode is meant to feel like a little pause between where we’ve been and where we’re going next.
If you’ve been listening all summer, we’ve already had so many conversations about reclaiming our lives—from our wellness and our why to our wonder, our light, and our calm. Next, we’re going to move into focus, routines, and intentional living.
But this episode can also stand completely on its own. So if this is the first episode you’ve pressed play on, you’re in exactly the right place. I think the question we’re sitting with today is a powerful one that I believe we should all ask ourselves at some point. And that question is:
What is your enough?
Enough success.
Enough money.
Enough growth.
Enough achievement.
Enough progress.
Enough proof that your life matters and you have done something meaningful with it.
How will you know when you have reached enough? And maybe the harder thing to do in practice —
If you reach your “enough,” would you be willing to let it be enough?
Because sometimes we know exactly what we are working toward. We have the number, the goal, or the version of ourselves we hope to become. But we never actually decide what would allow us to stop chasing and simply be content. Ya know what I mean?
Like there will always be another metric. Another level. Something else to improve upon. Another project to begin. Another area of our lives that could become better.
We keep moving the line—and then wonder why we never feel the satisfaction of reaching it.
That is what I want to talk about today bc this is one of the sneaky ways we sabotage so much of the hard work we do to reclaim ourselves.
We put something down.
We create a little space.
We begin to feel calmer, lighter, or more present.
And then, almost immediately, we fill the space with more.
THE POWER OF ENOUGH
This conversation really started for me when I read a book called The Power of Enough. It challenged both me and my husband, Charles, to start defining what enough actually looks like for our family.
And that word—enough—can sound a little complicated at first, especially if you’re an ambitious person. It can sound like settling, giving up, or deciding you don’t want to grow anymore. But that wasn’t what we took from it at all.
For us, defining enough has meant deciding what kind of life we actually want before the world decides for us. It means looking at our values, our marriage, our health, our time, our businesses, and our family—and asking what kind of success supports those things instead of slowly consuming them.
That question has become a through line for us through every changing season and new adventure. My husband and I opened a coffee shop about a year and a half ago in the Tampa, Florida area, and one of the very first decisions we made was that we would remain closed on Sundays.
And man, that decision got a lot of push back. It was wild. People would say, “Do you know how much money you could make on Sundays?” or “You could just have employees work for you.” We heard it all.
But The Power of Enough had already become rooted in our value system. Six days a week was enough for us. Enough for our capacity. Enough for our family. Enough for our bank account. Enough for our ambition.
Because yes, we could open on Sundays. There is potential revenue sitting there. Customers would come in. From a purely business-minded perspective, you could argue that more hours would mean more sales, more opportunities, and more growth.
But our business does not exist separately from the rest of our lives.
And honestly, I’ve always felt like a little bit of an odd duck in the business world because I don’t really believe work and life fit into two completely separate boxes. My work is part of my life, and my life is woven into my work.
I don’t mean that in the hustle-culture sense, where work is allowed to consume everything else. I mean it in a deeply purpose- and service-driven way. The things I create come from what I value, what I’m learning, how I want to serve, and the kind of life I feel called to live. My work is one of the ways those things take shape.
Crave is part of our life. It holds our creativity, our service, our relationships, and the community we are building. This podcast is part of my life too. The conversations we have here are almost always connected to something I am learning, questioning, or living through myself.
My work is woven into who I am, but that does not mean it gets to consume all of me.
In fact, because my work and life are so connected, I have to make business decisions with our whole life in mind. Revenue cannot be the only measurement. We have to consider what opening another day would cost our marriage, our family, our team, our energy, and the way we want to experience the life we’re building.
Protecting Sundays is one of the ways we’ve decided that our business will support our whole life instead of slowly consuming it.
I recently shared a post on social media about our philosophy behind being closed on Sundays, and a customer brought it up while we were chatting at the shop. We ended up having this passing conversation about the importance of knowing what your enough is. I kept thinking about it afterward because that really is where this decision started for us. We had to define enough before “more” began looking like the obvious next step.
Friends, if we don’t decide what enough means, the world will always encourage us to add more. More hours. More revenue. More locations. More reach. More growth. That is what businesses are supposed to do, right? Keep growing. Keep scaling. Keep maximizing every available opportunity.
But when I look around at the way so many people are living, I see burnout, exhaustion, anxiety, depression, and people who feel completely disconnected from the lives they have worked so hard to create. Charles and I have talked about this so many times: if following the most common example leads to a life we don’t want, why would we keep using that example?
We don’t want to build our business the way most people say we should if it eventually requires us to live the way so many people wish they didn’t.
That requires us to know our enough. It means understanding that more may be available to us without assuming more is automatically meant for us.
I don’t necessarily want to separate my work from my life. I want to make sure they are telling the same story.
WHEN NOTHING WAS ALLOWED TO BE ENOUGH
I think one reason I can so clearly reject the idea that more is always the measure of a successful business is because I spent years experiencing the opposite of enough during my time in direct sales as a Beachbody coach.
There was always another level to unlock. You worked toward the next rank, but when you finally reached it, you were almost immediately encouraged to begin chasing the one after that. The achievement barely had time to register before it became the starting point for another achievement.
Sales operated the same way. You could have an incredible month, but when the calendar turned, your number reset to zero. Whatever you had accomplished the month before was over, and now you had to prove you could do it again. Month after month, the finish line moved. There was no real place to arrive, take a breath, and allow what you had done to feel like enough.
And there were parts of that business I genuinely loved. I grew inside it. I helped people. I built something meaningful, and I achieved things I was incredibly proud of. That chapter shaped me in ways I will always carry, which is part of why laying it down was so painful.
But eventually, one of the reasons I was able to let it go was because I realized it had become enough. I had done what I set out to do. That chapter had given me what it came to give me. I had learned, built, led, succeeded, failed, stretched, and become.
It was enough.
Recognizing that didn’t diminish what I had built or erase how much it meant to me. It allowed me to honor the chapter without requiring it to keep becoming something else. I didn’t have to make it bad before I was allowed to leave it. I didn’t have to wait for everything I loved about it to disappear before I could admit that I was ready to lay it down and move on.
Friends, I think this is something ambitious women don’t hear often enough. You are allowed to complete a chapter simply because it is complete. Something does not have to become terrible before you can release it. You don’t have to hate it, burn it down, or prove that choosing it was a mistake.
Something can be good. It can be successful. It can have mattered deeply to you.
And you can lay it down bc it was enough.
THE SPACE WE KEEP FILLING
Here is something I’ve had to learn in my own trenches that I want to pass over to yours:
Be careful not to fill the life you just made room to experience.
If you have done any work lately to create more peace, space, or support in your life, please don’t immediately turn everything you’ve reclaimed into additional capacity for more work.
Don’t reclaim your energy just so you can become more productive.
Don’t regulate your nervous system so you can tolerate a life that continues to drain you.
Don’t create healthier routines only to pack more into your already-full days.
Don’t reclaim your wonder so you can turn every beautiful moment into content.
Don’t reclaim your light and accidentally assume that getting your ambition back means returning to hustle. Your sparkle and your ease are part of that light too.
Don’t reclaim your calm and then immediately ask what else you can carry now that your hands are free.
The point of putting something down was not to prove how much more you could pick up.
That is something I want us to chew on.
Because you would think we would love open space. We say we want it all the time.
We want a clear calendar. A quiet morning. A free weekend. A finished project. A little breathing room.
We’re constantly telling ourselves, “Once I get through this week,” or “Once this busy season settles down,” or “Once I finally finish this one thing…”
And then the space arrives.
Sometimes, we have absolutely no idea what to do with it.
So we schedule something. Start something. Plan something. Improve something. Pick up our phones and consume something.
We take the place where quiet could have lived and give it another assignment.
Because open space can be uncomfortable.
In open space, there is no productivity to point toward. There is nothing to manage, fix, accomplish, or control.
There is just us.
When you have spent years building your identity around being useful, capable, productive, or needed, simply existing inside open space can feel vulnerable.
You may fully believe your worth is inherent and still feel guilty when you rest.
You may finish a big project and immediately begin looking for a new one.
You can achieve the goal, celebrate it for approximately twelve minutes, and begin thinking about the next level before the first achievement has even settled into your body.
You can finally reach the slower season you prayed for and start worrying that you’re falling behind.
Our deeper beliefs about enough often reveal themselves through what we do once nothing is demanding more from us.
FOUR WAYS WE KEEP MOVING ENOUGH OUT OF REACH
We’ve talked about what enough has looked like in my life, but now I want to make this tangible for you too. Because most of us aren’t consciously deciding to reject contentment. We’re not walking around saying, “Nothing will ever be enough for me.” It happens through smaller, often socially celebrated patterns that keep enough somewhere just beyond our reach.
So, friends, I want to put four of those patterns in plain sight. As I walk through them, see if you recognize where one may be showing up in your own life.
1. We move the line.
We tell ourselves we will feel successful when we reach the number, when the business reaches the goal, when the podcast reaches the milestone, when the scale says the thing, when the house is finished, when the account grows, or when the project launches. Then it happens—maybe not exactly the way we pictured, but we get there—and instead of allowing ourselves to experience the arrival, our brain immediately asks, “Okay, but what’s next?”
I know this pattern intimately. I can look at Crave and see something that once existed only as an idea. Charles and I built a real coffee shop where people walk through the doors every day and make it part of their routines and their stories. I can look at this podcast and see thousands of people who have listened to these conversations. I can look around at a life that contains so much of what previous versions of me were working, praying, and hoping for—and still catch myself asking what I should build next. What should grow faster? What needs to become bigger? What would make all of this feel more exceptional?
Ambition is not the enemy here. I love creating, building, and asking what might be possible. That part of me is real, and I have no interest in dimming her. But I do need to ask her whether anything will ever be allowed to become enough. Can something be beautiful without becoming bigger? Can it be meaningful without becoming exceptional? Can I be proud of what I built without immediately turning that pride into pressure? Can I let an arrival be an arrival before I make it another starting line?
Because if the line moves every time we approach it, we are no longer pursuing a goal. We are pursuing a feeling the goal was never capable of giving us.
2. We confuse space with capacity.
Just because there is space on your calendar does not mean you have the emotional capacity to take on more. You may technically have the time, but that doesn’t mean you have the energy—or that every open hour needs to become available to someone or something else.
Maybe that empty square on your calendar isn’t empty at all. Maybe it is where you slowly drink your coffee instead of grabbing it as you run out the door. Maybe it holds a walk, a book, dinner with someone you love, time outside, or a few quiet minutes to hear yourself think and sit with God. Maybe it is simply the room you need to breathe, come back to yourself, and enjoy your own life for a minute.
That matters too. Time does not have to be filled with something impressive to be well spent. If we rush to fill every bit of room simply because it’s there, we can end up rebuilding the exact kind of life we worked so hard to make space inside of.
3. We believe everything has to be useful to be worthwhile.
This is one I catch myself doing all the time. I have a hard time doing something simply because I enjoy it. There needs to be a reason. A purpose. Some kind of outcome that makes the time feel worthwhile.
I’m not just taking a walk because it feels good to be outside. I’m getting my steps. I’m not reading simply because I love the book. I’m improving my attention span and staying off my phone. I’m not protecting a slow day because I enjoy having nowhere to be. I’m resting so I can be more productive next week. Even play can quietly become another tool I use to improve myself.
We live in an optimization culture, and that can be so sneaky because, on paper, it looks like progress. We’re learning, growing, healing, tracking, and becoming better versions of ourselves. None of those things are inherently bad. But sometimes the pulse underneath all that improvement is the belief that the experience isn’t enough on its own. It only becomes worthwhile if we can point to what it improved, healed, burned, built, taught, or helped us accomplish.
A walk probably will help your mood. Reading may improve your focus. Rest can give you more energy. But does every choice have to optimize something in order to be worth making?
What if you take the walk because the weather is beautiful? What if you read the novel because you can’t wait to find out what happens next? What if you make something you never plan to sell, share, teach, or turn into content? What if you rest because you’re tired—or play because it sounds fun?
Friends, enjoyment is allowed to be the reason.
You don’t have to turn every good thing into personal growth. You don’t have to justify every hour by pointing to what it produced. Sometimes you get to do something because it makes you laugh, brings you peace, sparks your curiosity, or helps you feel more like yourself.
Maybe part of experiencing enough is allowing the experience itself to be enough.
But there is another layer to this. Sometimes it isn’t only the experience we’re trying to make productive. Sometimes we use personal growth to prove something about ourselves.
4. We use personal growth to prove we’re enough.
We can take the very practices intended to care for us and turn them into evidence that we are doing life correctly. Wellness becomes something to win. Healing develops a timeline. A morning routine becomes proof that we’re disciplined and have it together. Even rest, presence, and intentional living can become standards we use to decide whether we are succeeding at becoming the person we think we should be.
Somewhere along the way, becoming better can become another way to feel behind.
Maybe you’ve been listening to this series and wondering whether you experienced enough wonder, created enough calm, followed your routines well enough, or made the kind of summer you thought you would. Maybe you bought the workbook and haven’t completed every page. Maybe you’re doing all the things that are supposed to help you feel better but still quietly wondering why you aren’t further along.
Friends, we can become so focused on doing the work correctly that we stop allowing the work to care for us.
Because if I’m using my morning routine to prove I’m disciplined, missing it feels like evidence that I’m failing. If I’m using wellness to prove I’m a healthy person, every imperfect choice starts to feel like a statement about who I am. If I believe healing should turn me into a calmer, more evolved version of myself, then every hard day becomes proof that I should be further along by now.
The purpose of personal growth is not to create a more polished version of the pressure we were already carrying. You do not have to heal perfectly. You don’t need to turn becoming your best self into another reason the person you are today feels insufficient.
There will be seasons when you feel deeply connected to yourself and moments when you realize you have drifted again. A routine may support you beautifully until you enter a chapter when it no longer fits. You will know better and still fall into an old pattern. None of that means the work failed. It means growth is not a performance you perfect. It is a relationship you continue having with yourself.
The goal is not to create a life from which you never wander. The goal is to become someone who knows how to come home.
WHAT IS YOUR ENOUGH?
So, friends, let’s return to the question at the heart of this entire conversation:
What is your enough?
And when I ask that, I’m not asking what amount you should settle for. I’m not asking you to abandon your ambition, your creativity, or your desire to grow. Enough and more are not enemies. You can feel deeply grateful for what already exists and still feel curious about what comes next. You can celebrate your life and still carry dreams. You can know you are already worthy and still want to grow.
The difference is the place you are growing from.
Are you creating from fullness, or are you asking the creation to fill something in you? Are you moving toward something because it genuinely calls to you, or because stopping would force you to question who you are without the chase? Are you building because building makes you feel alive, or because you’re hoping the finished product will finally make you feel like enough?
Those questions can feel tender, and the answers may not be perfectly clear. Sometimes both things are true. We can feel genuinely called toward more while also hoping it will prove something about us. We can love what we’re creating while relying on it a little too heavily to tell us who we are. The goal isn’t to interrogate every dream until we no longer trust our ambition. It is to understand what is fueling it.
Because enough is not a ceiling. It is a floor beneath your feet.
Enough is the place you get to stand while you decide what comes next. It is not the prize waiting for you once you have proven yourself. I can want more for my life without requiring more from my life in order to believe it matters. I can create something exceptional without believing my life must continually become exceptional for me to feel worthy inside it.
Oof. I am talking directly to myself with that one.
There is nothing wrong with pursuing something exceptional. I just don’t want to miss the exceptional life already happening because I am consumed with creating the next one.
So as you begin defining your own enough, look first at the places where it may have already arrived. Is there a goal you reached but never truly allowed yourself to celebrate? Is there a chapter that has given you what it came to give you? Is there something in your life that is already good, meaningful, and working—but you keep pressuring it to become bigger?
Then look at the space you have created. Where have you put something down and immediately assumed you needed to replace it? Maybe you released one commitment and quickly accepted another. Maybe your children reached a new stage, your work shifted, or a difficult season ended—and you rushed to prove you could be productive again before you had even adjusted. Maybe your body finally began feeling better, and your first instinct was to demand more from it. Maybe you’ve been saying you want a slower life while quietly treating every open hour as a problem to solve.
You don’t need to turn these questions into another improvement project. Give yourself time to sit with what comes up. Enough is deeply personal, and it may look different across the various parts of your life. What is enough for your business may not be enough for your creativity. What is enough for this season may change in the next one. The point is not to create a fixed number or rule that you must follow forever. It is to begin recognizing when more is genuinely calling you forward and when more has simply become your default.
This is also the posture I want us to carry into the final part of RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER. We’re going to reclaim our focus by deciding what matters most. We’re going to reclaim our routines by building support around the people we are and the season we’re actually living in. Then we’ll reclaim our intentionality by allowing what matters to change what we choose—even when those choices are inconvenient, unsexy, or uncomfortable.
But none of that work is meant to help us maximize every bit of energy we have reclaimed. Focus is not about accomplishing everything. Routines are not meant to help us hold more. Intentionality is not about managing every moment perfectly.
We are going to choose what matters, build support around it, and live it on purpose. And sometimes living on purpose means leaving room. It means allowing a chapter to be complete, letting a goal be enough, and enjoying what you built before deciding what it needs to become.
Maybe what you’ve been asking for is not more. Maybe it is the ability to become fully present inside what is already here.
Maybe the next level is not another level at all.
Maybe it is finally inhabiting the life you built.
Friend, whether you have been working through this series all summer or this is the first conversation you’ve joined us for, I hope you leave today with permission to protect some of the space you have made.
Don’t turn your healing into a greater tolerance for the things that depleted you. Don’t turn your open hands into proof that you can carry more. Allow there to be room in your life. Let a chapter be complete. Let what you have be good before you ask it to become exceptional. And decide what enough means for your life before the world decides for you.
As we move into the final month of RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER, this is the rhythm we’re taking with us:
Choose what matters.
Build support around it.
Live it on purpose.
Today, we’re pausing in the space we made. We’re looking around at the life that is already here and practicing letting it be enough.
Next week, we’ll take the first step forward with RECLAIM YOUR FOCUS. We’re talking about what happens when everything feels important—and why focus isn’t your ability to pay attention to it all. It is your willingness to decide what does not get your attention right now.
I love you so much. I’m rooting for you. And I will see you right here, next week, on The Self Care Sisterhood podcast.
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